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The Weightiness of Resolutions

December 31, 2014

Each year on this blog, it’s been the same thing: I post my resolutions for the upcoming year, whether it be nearly my only post for the year or not (see: 2014). I set goals that I may or may not achieve, and I publish them in the hopes that having them “in ink” online will provide me with some sort of motivation to get them done.  And honestly, a fair amount of them are accomplished, especially considering how many resolutions never come to fruition in the macro, beyond myself.

But this year, I’m tired. 2014 chewed me up and spit me out. What looked like a year of promise turned into a year of survival. Of course, many more catastrophic things could’ve happened to me or in spite of me, and we did, in fact, survive, but I realize that my resolutions are often unattainable. This is not because I’m a poor goal-setter or because I create unrealistic expectations for myself, but because things change that are beyond my control actually quite often. My resolutions for 2014 were specific and fairly actionable, but this year, I’m going for things that are more in my control, regardless of changes. I might have a few actionable items, but mostly it’s about taking care of myself and putting what’s important first.

My 2015 Resolutions

First and foremost, I will stop letting other people determine my happiness, especially work. Many times, the things that I let “drag me down” are beyond my control, so why should I make myself unhappy because of it? I choose to be happy during 2015 and to let things roll off instead of upset me.

2015 will be my year of being proactive, instead of reactive. I will anticipate hardships and plan for them. I will deal with things immediately instead of procrastinating. I will finish something and let it go instead of letting it eat at me.

My several and varied passions, all of which I have thrown by the wayside, will have a place in my life, whether big or small, to give me the outlets that I need.

My priorities for 2015 are happiness and family. What does that entail? For me, it’s continuing to develop a close and loving relationship with my family; making sure that my marriage takes the helm over other relationships and engagements; setting limits on what needs to be done with work and what truly doesn’t matter; making weekends solely about family and never about main job work; feeling successful in my Jamberry small business and getting to hang out with the amazing women I meet through that venture; taking quiet moments to reflect on my life and center myself back into balance.

It is not stressing myself out over trivial things that others find important but really aren’t; letting work consume my life; driving home so late that the kids have to eat dinner on the road and go straight to bed; staying up late to finish some “important” item and losing sleep, causing me to go into a spiral for the week; alienating friends because of other “priorities” or social anxiety from alienating them previously.

So, after all this, I’d guess that I really only have one actual resolution: balance. Some things in life truly are more important, no matter what others try to do to convince you to rule in their favor, for their priority. How can I model to my children and my students what it means to have a truly full and loving life if I don’t practice balance myself? I only have two thirds of my life left, IF I’m seriously lucky. I’m not wasting another day.

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